I now pronounce you... single
POSTED ON: AUGUST 08, 2008

In a fast paced society like today’s, when people are getting married just as quickly as they are RSVP'ing to the V.I.P list for the hottest club new opening , how is one to know when to stay together and when to say goodbye?

It started out to be a typical work day like any other. I woke up, took a shower, dressed, had my slimfast shake with a side order of double shot espresso from starbucks (thank you coffee gods).

All was going well until I received a call from a very dear friend of mine named Isabelle. She was having yet another relationship crisis. After talking for what seemed like hours, I was finally able to decode her dilemma. When to stay together vs. When to say goodbye seemed to be the question at hand.

Isabelle is someone whom I have known for years. We were in the same ballet company in New York where I studied dance at the Phyllis studio. I just reconnected with her this New Year when I bumped into her at a fashion show I was attending in L.A.

Isabelle had been dating a guy named Chris for roughly 4 years. As fairytale would play it out, they met though a friend at a party one night, spent several weekends together and sooner rather then later, they decided to move in together.

The first few years, like any relationship, had its rough points while the dust was still trying to settle. The combining of the personal belongs, purchasing of new "our" items such as furniture, and getting used to each others habits. Then there is the inevitable combining of the friends and social events. His and her separate outings soon became their plans; his friends became her friends, while her friends began to take a back seat to the newfound "togetherness" they had developed. Funny how that happens huh? (I am knocking onto my own personal door of events at this moment) So strange but so true!

Entering into the fourth year, things became routine for them. They just about scheduled everything. From spending time together, to cooking dinner, even sometimes down to the sex! Her planner was not nearly as full as his and for her it seemed like everything had to be “fit” or “squeezed” onto his blackberry in order for them to even watch TV together.

She began to explain to me at the ripe age of 29, she didn’t think her life would be this way. She always imagined that she would be married with children or at least engaged. I, having heard this many times before, began to say “why are you still here with him? You obviously aren’t happy and it’s almost as if you are settling for a life that is not destined for you. Isabelle argued, as most of us woman who are in relationships that we are not yet ready to give up on would , that she invested so much time into him , that she already had her future mapped out with him and she didn’t want to start over again . She did however; leave out what most of us fear to say, “I don’t want to end up alone”

Question- Why is it , that even today, with the predominance that woman have attained in the work world, in their personal lives, where so many woman I know rent or have even purchased their own home , do we feel slightly incomplete with out male companionship?

Also, for those of us who do fear the possibility of being alone , it becomes a challenge of how to get over this fear and regain that sense of independence and become OK with the idea of being on our own!

When is it time to say good bye to the dead end relationship and venture out into the world of the unknown?

Until next time.....

Love Peace and Purity,

xoxo Shayna