What's in a label?
POSTED ON: AUGUST 18, 2008

In Halston, Zac Posen, Proenza Schouler, Galliano, Malandrino - All very well known designers in the couture world, that when a person hears them, their labels are associated with high class status and luxury living.

On the other hand, labels, as in relationship labels- Single, dating, casual dating, boyfriend, girlfriend, can bring a whole other style strutting down the runway!

Chloe, a 27 year old grad student who just landed a job at Haute Couture Inc, had arrived back in town after being in Paris for the past 7 months. Chloe and I have known each other for a little over 2 years, but hadn't had the chance to get together much due to her demanding schedule and my lack there of.

Keeping in touch through e- mails, we were finally able to set a play date, or shall I say a day of pampering fit for the Upper East Side socialites. This usually consisted of meeting at La Costa Day Spa for their signature 50 minute massage, 50 minute Botanical facial and mani ,pedi session topped off with a glass of Champagne. Life can be so hard at times!

After getting though the regular "How have you been, what's new, blah blah blah "conversation, she began to tell me of Giovanni Ravincei.

Gio was an Italian artist in his early thirties, whom she had met while traveling through the small village of Roussillon (Provence). Through hours of conversation, Chloe discovered that Gio would be coming to the states in the coming months to have some of his work on display at a local gallery in L.A, and as it turned out, she just so happened to be attending that opening! They spent the next few months eating, drinking and have the most incredible time together until it was time for her to leave. They exchanged emails and planned to get together in the coming weeks.

A few weekends later, the night of the opening, Chloe and I arrived at the gallery about an hour and forty-five minutes fashionably late. (Damn Giuseppe Zanotti shoes always have me tripping over my own feet but man do they look good on!!!) Ahh the things we do in the name of fashion!

By the end of the evening, Gio had a very successful opening, selling 5 pieces. His art was very reminiscent, to me at least, of Marc Chagall. His abstract post-impressionist style with sharp undertones embodied his deep passion for life. The art work, like the painter himself, seemed to have a gravitational pull towards him. I began to think, as my eyes gazed over the room, maybe the ohh’s and ahh's weren't all about the art on display, but rather the man on display!!

After the gallery closed, we all went for coffee and Chloe set a date to meet for drinks with him solo.

A few weeks had gone by and they were having regular sleep over’s- some weekends at her place and some at his. Everything seemed to be going good, until one evening after dinner, it happened- The relationship talk!!! Chloe went on to tell me:

"We dined at Geisha House and then went over to Vanguard for drinks and dancing. The evening was going wonderfully, when suddenly he grabs me by the hand, looks me in the eyes and says

"Can you see yourself with me in the future? Where do you see this going?"

“Gio, you know I am not ready for a serious relationship at this point of my life" she said as nervous beads of sweat began to trickle down her face. “Let’s just take this for what it is while you are here and enjoy our time together OK?

Catching the lump in his throat, he tells her he won’t bring it up again and they finish the evening out.

Ok, let’s take a minute to pause from this scene. 1. Wouldn’t a handsome Italian artist, one with a career that actually paid, wanting to whisk you away and make you his, stop you dead in your trashy romance novel track’s, and B. Who in their sane mind could turn away the possible “Would you do me the honor” man? Shouldn’t this be a dream come true? One would like to think……..

She later explained to me that in their first encounter 4 months earlier, she made it clear to him that she was not ready, at this stage in her life, having just gotten out of a 3 year relationship, to "be" with someone. To her understanding, he agreed and said they could be casual friends while he was in the states for the next 8 months.

As I tried to re focus my energy on my Zen breathing, I couldn’t help but think - What the hell is casual dating and since when did dating fall into certain categories?

Later that evening, Chloe and I met up with Isabelle for drinks at Café Chloe. An east village French Bistro and wine bar that ushered in an era of urban-chic.

The topic of conversation became dating labels and how to differentiate between them.

Apparently, me, having been off the market for the past 5 years, in a marriage that sadly came to an end just months before my ex was set to leave for France, (humm) had kept me out of the lime light dating scene and brought about a whole new style of so-called relationships.

Casual dating, as defined by Daniel Zauber- dailyprincetonian.com, is and I quote “An evening, a meal, or a get-together of some kind in which there is no expectation of further commitment on either side. Although one side may desire a further relationship, it is understood that both parties are free to sample the company of each other and are as equally free to terminate any sense of relationship as well." So pretty much from what I understand its friends with benefits re-defined and re worded!

Monogamous dating on the other hand, as defined by Wikipedia states- “A custom or condition of having only one mate in a relationship, thus forming a couple” There you have it .The traditional type of dating where a boyfriend and/or girlfriend label will be established thus preventing one from wandering outside of the “couple clad box” (or at least you would hope!)

Chloe was engaging in casual dating, Isabelle in monogamous dating, and me, in marriage and then in divorce court.

Seeing as each label brings about a different weight on a persons shoulders, which in return also set’s the tone for the relationship and how time is spent during that relationship with one another, would it be safe to say that one form of dating is better then another , for that matter safer then the other?

Also for the two latter labels, casual dating and monogamous dating, when are the rules set and when, if at all, do they change? Lover becoming partner and partner fazing out into just a lover!

Until next time ………………

Love Peace and Purity,

xoxo Shayna