Happy, rich, sad and broke - Conclusion. It all comes crashing down and then... clarity.
POSTED ON: OCTOBER 20, 2008

Quick Re cap- The last 2 parts were spent getting to know Kayla. She comes from a wealthy family in New Jersey. All of the luxury’s life had to offer. Bored of the same day to day so moved to Cali, renting a loft which was being paid for by her father, but she had to support herself in every other way. Shopped, ate, vacationed in Beverly Hills, Santa Barbra, ran through bank account , resumed to credit cards..On to the conclusion ……..

I arrived at her house on a Friday evening to scoop her up for a weekend getaway to Santa Barbara. I’m sitting in her living room and notice a stack of bills piled upon her kitchen island. To my disbelief, I notice that they are all credit card bills with some pretty big balances owed; I’m talking thousands and thousands of dollars.

“Unpack your bag’s. We aren’t going anywhere!” I say with sympathetic tone

You see, I have been in her situation. I knew exactly what was going on. She had been trying to maintain this so called “happy rich girl” lifestyle but in reality she was 1-living way beyond her means and chose to ignore it, (I.e. the unpaid bills stacking up on her granite counter top in the kitchen) and 2-She was not happy with her life or herself.

“Kayla what are all of these? I said holding a few unopened envelopes

“This how you have been affording these extravagances? Do you parents know about these bills and furthermore, how past due they are?

“It’s fine, really! Don’t worry about it. I will take care of them when we get back” she replied with a look of embarrassment

“Kay this is serious! I wish you would have said something to me; I could have helped you somehow. What’s going on?!!!

Kayla never had to answer to any one before, not even her parents would question her. She was shocked and couldn’t believe I, of all people, saw right though her and called her out on her bullshit!

Dropping her bags, she collapsed to the floor and began to cry. She cried so hard she could barley catch her breath. Her once flawless make up was now running down her face and her hands arose to cover her porcelain like skin.

I had never seen her like this. In my eyes, she was unbreakable, untouchable even. I sat on the floor next to her and embraced her whole heartedly in my arms and she held onto me tightly.

Crying out she said “I don’t know how I got here. I left New Jersey hoping to escape this facade, this dream I was living, but instead I just recreated the same scenes with a different background. I am so sick of being unhappy. I lost my identity. In a way it was like I was never even given a chance to create one on my own, it was given to me” she trembled.

“Although I have everything” she said wistfully “It’s almost like I have nothing. I know what it’s like to have too little and too much. Too little of the things I thought weren’t important, now realizing they are and too much of the things that aren’t important, almost unable to break away from them. People expect me to live a certain lifestyle, to always be at the top, as if I am on a pedestal. I was constantly surrounded with material possessions, which became a way of life for me. “Surround your self with beautiful things and beautiful people” my mother always told me.
I was raised to be a certain way but I am not that person anymore”

She lifted her body up off of the ground and caught her reflection in the mirror

“I’ve been living with this empty bliss (stopping to catch her breath) this material bliss, this ostentatious bliss. I have been given almost everything in my life. If I have never had to work for anything, then how can I know who I am or how strong I am?

“Those 2 years I was on my own at college I felt important, I felt accomplished because I had to work hard for my grades. That was the first time I did something on my own! I saw a glimpse of what the world was like outside of this so-called “glamour’s life”

“Kay, you can’t keep going on this way. I won’t allow it to happen because I have been there and I almost never recovered. I was so depressed that I thought filling my life with things would make me feel better but it didnt . I just fell deeper and deeper” I grabbed her cell phone “Call your dad; tell him everything that lead you to this point, the unpaid bills and all”

As she began to walk into the living room to call her dad, I myself wondered, how well do I really know the people I think I know? How is it that someone with everything so easy, all of the material things that life could give to her, could be so miserable? I knew the answer the whole time.

No matter how much shit you buy in the moment to make you happy, it will always be just that, shit in the moment! Money can not buy you happiness, because it is in fact the one thing that can’t be bought. You have to be able to be who you truly are!

Kayla was able to get out of her financial troubles, and she soon decided to really be on her own, even if that did mean paying her own rent, getting a roommate and living in a smaller place. She now works as an Assistant Designer for the woman’s contemporary collection at Saks Fifth Avenue.

We met up for a movie the other night and she said to me “This is me. I finally created my own existence and I couldn’t be happier”
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Love Peace and Purity,

xoxo Shayna